Writing Articles Commentating on How Dumb Things Are is a Stupid Waste of Time

Since the advent of the internet, thousands of idiots all over the world have spent countless hours at their keyboards typing up rants describing in copious, self-indulgent detail how stupid this or that is, and of the millions of bandwidth sucking web pages they’ve created, not one contains a single word that wasn’t a stupid waste of time.

Take your standard internet screed against people who are into Japanese anime and spend their weekends attending conventions dressed up as ninjas, ladybugs, washing machines and the like. Naturally, the whole thing is stupid and they’re making fools of themselves, but at least their version of stupid involves leaving the house and socializing with actual living, breathing people (regardless of whether they’re the types of horses’ asses willing to be seen in public dressed as a cross between a canary and a vacuum cleaner), which is more than can be said for the guy sitting at home composing a five hundred word diatribe making fun of them for the amusement of a bunch of cynical turd-virgins out in cyberspace he’s never met and never will as long as he’s pent up in his mom’s basement subsisting off frozen chicken fingers and jacking off to webcam sluts whose stupid whorishness he’s been working on articulating in website article form in the misogynistic hours that intervene between his latest self-induced orgasm and the first moment he begins to feel horny again.

And the same goes for the sort of twit who wastes his time authoring rants delineating the lack of intelligence of Starbucks patrons, Goths, people who’ve suffered severe head injuries, Hummer drivers, Norwegians, people who wait in line for 10 hours to buy the newest technological gadget for double the price it will be a month later, pet psychics, Hot Pockets, CNN, the millionth commercial to try to be funny by featuring hip-hop vernacular spouting senior citizens doing things associated with mainstream youth culture, Christian Fundamentalists, candy corn and racists, because, in conformity with the universal laws of stupidity, these people, and those responsible for the continuing existence of such things, are so stupid that no argument, regardless of how well thought out and expressed, could cause them to realize their own stupidity - rendering the effort taken to even bother to do so a complete waste of time that could have otherwise been spent doing drugs and watching old Saved by the Bell reruns (which kick ass) - and hence stupid on the kind of level of those Asian guys who spend thousands of dollars tricking out their Honda Civic for the privilege of driving around town looking like a complete shitheads.

*Apologies to any proprietors of websites dedicated to the kind of content the content contained in this article may have offended. I’m sure the articles on your site that describe how dumb and worthless everything is happen to be so hilarious that dozens of people who really give a crap read bits and pieces of it every week, making the two dollars and fifty cents you earn each month selling your soul to Google Ads really worth it.