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Our Messiah - Dennis Brown
The eldest child in a family of eight, Dennis Brown was conceived in May of 1957 when his virginal mother Denise was raped by the punter of her high school's football team at a keg party. Roughly nine months later, on February 3, 1958, Brown was born as miraculously as the dump his mom would have taken if, instead of being physically compelled to engage in sexual copulation, was force-fed fried chicken.
Growing up in an ever expanding family propagated by eight different men, each of whom fled his hometown of Mulvane, Kansas upon becoming aware of his mother's unplanned condition, Brown had no known hobbies or interests until he discovered masturbation at the age of eleven, a habit he'd foster for the rest of his life.
Not much of a scholar, Brown accumulated a grade point average of 0.0 at Mulvane High School before dropping out after his sophomore year at the age of 16 to pursue a career as a rock and roll star. Not possessing any innate musical aptitude however, and soon realizing the amount of effort that would be required to become even a serviceable guitar player, Brown abdicated his vague, passing ambition and took a job at the Hertz car rental desk in the Wichita airport, a job that afforded him the freedom to leave his childhood home and siblings behind in 1976 after his mother killed herself by jumping head first from the roof of a three story building - the biggest in town.
A truly humble, insightful man, Brown, perceiving no value in material possessions other than pornography, alcohol and cigarettes, and not caring in the least what other people who "would be dead soon anyway" thought of him, never strived to learn skills that would earn him more money and prestige amongst the members of a dysfunctional, distasteful society he harbored no interest in serving, and so he was more than happy to get by on his wage from Hertz so long as it was enough to pay the rent on the studio apartment where he lived 32 years, mostly drinking, smoking and wacking off.
On April 5, 2006, Brown was diagnosed with mesothelioma, a rare but not necessarily deadly form of cancer provided the patient is willing to endure a prolonged period of discomfort and sickness from the drugs used to treat it. In keeping with his ironclad indifference however, Brown refused to fight, and waxing philosophical astounded his physician with the now famous phrase, "Fighting is like trying, and trying is dumb".
Having made a conscious decision to give up, the cancer soon ravaged Brown's body, and he died three days after his diagnosis on April 8. His last known words were: "Today or another fifteen years from now, what's the difference?"