Personal Indifference For People Who Don't Give A Crap

This site won't help you do anything. I'm not trying to help you become more focused, motivated or confident. As the most happily apathetic, bitter and cynical person possibly inhabiting the planet, I'm not qualified to do so, and furthermore, I couldn't care less. If you're deluded enough to think your life could be made meaningful if only you might happen across the right website to assist your personal development into something other than the aimless, insignificant conglomeration of matter you are, fine; but this isn't the one. Like life itself, there is nothing meaningful to be found on this site. The Church of Apathy is a place for those enlightened enough to understand that there is no god, meaning to life, or such thing as free will to enjoy our indifference and the failure it inevitably breeds, because it is easier and, within the context of the big picture of the impermament universe in which we reside, holds the same value as trying and "succeeding" - absolutely zero. That's it.*
- Reverend Bob

Be sure to bookmark this site, so you can return to it again and again. Millions of imaginary visitors begin their days by spending 15-30 minutes here and report that it helps them resign themselves to the pointless drudgery the remaining twenty-three and a half hours is certain to bring.

*Note that it is not beyond my intellectual grasp to realize that the effort put into creating this site constitutes an act of trying, rendering all of it a farcical contradiction of itself, but what the hell. Free will is an illusion, and if it should please the universe to have me make a complete hypocritical ass of myself in this way, so be it. What else is new? All the gazillion events leading up to this one since the Big Bang have been against me. Not smart enough not to do stupid, useless things, just astute enough to recognize how stupid, useless and embarrassing they are. If there was such thing as luck I'd be Steve Pavlina or Tony Robbins, shooting sunbeams out of my ass, making millions selling lies about choice, courage, hard work and success, but there isn't, and even if there was, I'd have none.

Recent Blog Entries

June 25th, 2009 - I'm Going to be Rich - Coming soon to an infomercial inside your glowy box:

Nihilizema - Guaranteed to significantly accelerate the aging process of your skin while promoting the spread of acne, Nihilizema is skin cream for non-conformists! Tired of worrying about looking young and "good" - the way society tells you you should every fucking minute of every god foresaken day? Have you reached the point where you honestly hate the world and everyone in it? Get a small taste of revenge by making everyone you meet sick to their stomachs at the sight of your wrinkled, ravaged, zit ridden face.

Yay.

June 18th, 2009 - Spanish Television Rules - Is it possible to actually sit through an entire program of what the networks are putting on primetime television these days? If you say yes, I say fuck you.

Disenchanted as described, I recently took refuge in a foreign televised land - where the glowing, digitized people speak a language I can only sort of understand (at times), and therefore doesn't constantly make me puke. In fact, I find what I can discern from watching the seemingly equally mindless programming on the Mexican channels in my area is that it is great. For instance, there appears to be a soap opera about a man who runs a very official business from behind a large business desk in a mansion while wearing a lucha libre mask. Is this man a former professional Mexican wrestler who has parlayed his match winnings into a successful import/export concern upon his retirement? Does he need to keep his identity secret for life for the atrocities he committed in the ring so many years ago? I don't know, because I only watched it for five minutes and only understood one part when he asked some guy he was mad at on the phone where his money was, and this other part where he told his hot secretary to "call Jorge and tell him to eat my wife."

My other favorite show, whose name I can't remember, should be called "Latin Jumblefuck". On the surface, it appears to be taking place someplace in 19th century Latin America. The wardrobes and hairstyles are very 1800s. Men with power reside in palatial manors staffed by slaves and whores. I believe I heard one of the older character's refer to Simon Bolivar as "grandpa". But then come the anachronisms. Bolivar's grandkid's nephew drives a Lexus. A woman complains to a friend of her plight as an endentured concubine. On a cell phone - right before a couple of swashbuckling pirates raid a saloon. If I had to guess, I'd say the show is supposed to take place on the Colombian Caribbean, circa 1830, which would make insinuating product placements for modern products a bit tricky, if this show's producers hadn't just said, "Fuck it. Stick 'em in!" Awesome.

June 6th, 2009 - Just in Time for Summer: Tips on Reclaiming Your Bachelorhood Part IV - Planning a Dysfunctional Road Trip

May 29th, 2009 - The Gay Struggle - As I watch this ongoing fight over gay marriage rights in California unfold while keeping in mind that they’re also in a tizzy over their right to serve in the military, I have to wonder about the motives of these people.

Marriage sucks. The military sucks. Fuck it.

Sure, it’s an insult and an affront to your nature as a human being to be told by an empowered majority that you’re unfit to play in their reindeer games, but when the games in question involve everyone tying their nuts off and running around shooting each other in the face… I don’t know. I might be inclined to just forget about it.

I have a cousin who is mentally retarded. Once when I was 17 he called me a ‘stupid fag’. I lost no sleep over it.

Seriously, is it really somebody’s idea of a dream life to be marooned in some shitty tract home in some crap military town while your gay wife or husband is off getting shot at in Iraq for 16 months at a time for two dollars an hour? How many times do you need to find yourself elbow deep in a screaming buddy’s guts or getting nagged for eating salsa on the couch before you realized you’ve picked the wrong fight?

May 14, 2009 - Public Speaking Tips - For those of you with jobs where other people work who might actually have a reason to give a shit about something you have to say: Here

May 8, 2009 - Hollywood Outsider - Sadly, between this pig virus going around and the economy the way it is, I haven't been able to attend any shitty movies lately.

This weekend, for instance, circumstances came between the bevy of shitty movies playing at my local megaplex and myself. I was deprived of viewing the latest shitty super hero film about the guy with the long fingernails. I did not see the latest shitty piece of shit Matthew McConaughey made 20 million dollars shitting up.

And I doubt wholeheartedly that I will be in attendance for the latest shitty adaptation of rehashed shit when Star Trek comes out tomorrow. Sigh.

I did, however, see a real piece of shit that I rented the other day, and to all you assholes who voted up 'Boondcock Saints' to a 7.9 on IMDB, enticing me to see it, I hope you go blind and die.

April 29, 2009 - Swine Flu FAQs - Seemingly out of nowhere, the swine flu virus has spread from person to person in Mexico and the United States, inducing the media to justifiably sound the armageddon knoll and people in general to completely lose their shit.

In the interest of serving the public, I, as an expert on everything (which includes swine flu), have provided answers to some of the most common questions regarding the pandemic that will inevitably kill us all: Swine Flu FAQs

April 22, 2009 - My New Favorite Comedian - Neil Hamburger: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5NOt3ClPKA&feature=related

April 9, 2009 - I Got Some Funerals to Go to - The other night a friend of mine invited me and our other friend to opening day of the local baseball organization's season. Not having anything else to do and the ticket being offered for free, I accepted. On the way home, the friend in question, having had a few too many and me a few too few, asked me to drive (despite my better efforts, I've failed many times to become an alcoholic - the hangovers prevent me from stringing consecutive days drunk together, and it's too expensive - especially at the $8 a Bud Light professional sports franchise concessions charge these days). So I took his keys and was almost to my other friend's place when the brakes gave out. I pumped them. Nothing. Luckily, the next light was green and traffic was sparse, but I hadn't lost enough speed before the next intersection and the light was red, so I shouted, "Abandon ship!", pulled the emergency brake, and tucked and rolled my way to safety.

Long story short, the car spun into a Mobil station, hit a gas pump and exploded, so it looks like I need some new friends. Mine are all burned up.

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